The Smartest People Who Ever Voted...

This past first week since Donald Trump was elected President and Hillary Clinton lost the electoral college has been an emotional roller coaster for Hillary supporters leaving many of us Democrats shaking our heads in disbelief and frustration (and some downright nervous about the future of this country and the world). A country turned upside down is exactly how it feels with Republicans gaining control of the House and Senate and the fate of the Supreme Court and almost 250 years of this nation's progress in their hands.  Yet as I and many fellow Dems deal with the puzzlement of how such a man could be elected President of the United States and as protests and demands for the President-elect's resignation grow around the country, I am beginning to go through my last and final stage; understanding. (Not to be confused with acceptance.) I now understand how such a man could possibly be elected to ANY position not just the most powerful in the world. The answer, people who voted Trump into office are SMARTER than we are. That's the only explanation I could find.

How are those who voted Trump in office "smarter" than those who voted for Hillary you ask? Simple. They see something we don't. We see a man who is going into his first elected position ever and first ever service to our country position with 75 law suits pending against him. His supporters are better than us in that they are much more forgiving than we are. They see a man who is going to make America great again (which we all know is secret code for make America 'White' again like it was in the '50s) and are willing to forgive him for a life filled with discriminatory actions against struggling Americans of color and gender and his racist ideologies against Latinos and Muslims which the cabinet he brings with him (like that lunatic Giuliani, corrupt Christie and that Aryan looking Vice President, Pence who is already giving many Black, Hispanic and LGBT communities nightmares) also share in their own "special way".

Whether it was an irrelevant and archaic electoral college system that helped elect Donald Trump or "White-lash" or the rising of the voices of the "forgotten ones" (sorry, I laugh in my Dave Chappelle and Richard Pryor voice every time I say those two words) on Election Day, they saw someone who stood for THEM and what THEY needed to be "great again".

We as Democrats who supported Hillary Clinton saw a New York City billionaire who has never shown any history of helping anyone have a better life (outside of a million dollar business deal) and they (many of them struggling lower middle class white families who had lost hope in government ever helping them after the Republican led Congress blocked so many attempts by President Obama and Democrats to make their lives better with road building and affordable health care initiatives, ironically everything Hillary Clinton stood for and spent much of her political career fighting for) saw someone who could help, simply because he said he could. They were able to blame her and see her as part of a system she fought so hard against; a system run by Republican Presidents who historically cut social programs for them and Senate and Congressional majorities who blocked any attempt at helping these "forgotten people". We couldn't see that in him. They did.

They saw past a man unfit in every way to be President. A man with racist, xenophobic, homophobic, and sexist ideologies, who discriminated against people who did not have the means and money to fight him in court. They saw past a proven bully who, if he didn't get what he wanted, would call his lawyers to take care of the job of destroying anyone who stood in his way. They saw past a man who's own wife, now the First Lady, plagiarized another's speech in front of millions. They saw past a man with questionable business dealings we still wait to see what they entail and strange friendships with heads of government no American President has ever had including dictators and rulers accused of serious war crimes against their own people and other countries.

I believe if the folks (women and mothers included) who voted Donald Trump into office and the political party that they voted to now represent them can see past all those things and more, then they must have the vision to make America great; a vision that must be a better one than any of were able to see Hillary and Democrats delivering and certainly any of us could've imagined would be led by "the orange Trumpkin man".

I now understand. We were defeated by people much smarter than us.

My 4th of July Weekend and a Gay Nightclub?

It was a typical July 4th weekend as my wife of less than one year and I headed out to the Jersey Shore/Asbury Park to stay with friends we usually stay with every year. They have a lovely old English Tudor home that I've often dreamed of being able afford to buy one day. The house has become a home-away-from-home and a relaxing retreat for my wife and I thanks in part to our generous hosts and dear friends who live on and own the property.

We ate good that weekend; until we couldn't eat anymore, as they say. We walked around the Asbury Park area enjoying window shopping and strolls on the boardwalk. Great weather too for everyone to enjoy.

Our gracious hosts took us to our favorite restaurant in Asbury Park, Moonstruck. The food was amazing. Good wine and good fun. As we completed our dinner and did our usual fighting over the check, I heard someone mention we were going out to drinks afterwards in town. I was definitely game. The night was too good and I didn't want it to end. Somehow however, we ended up somewhere I didn't expect nor had a chance to prepare myself for.

Suddenly we were standing online to get into the popular Paradise Night Club, a notorious Gay nightspot. Still smiling from the effects of the 2 or 3 glasses of wine I had at dinner not too long before, I went along with it not really taking in what I was about to do. I put out my arms, was checked by a scanner and let in with my wife and our two close friends; lovely partners who own the Tudor home we stayed in all weekend I mentioned earlier.

This club was pretty cool by the looks of it - - part of a hotel with balconies overlooking a gorgeous pool and a bar outside and a large dance club inside.  We made our way through the crowds of mostly young gay men (most wearing tank tops and sporting a clean haircut and a beard and smiling) until we got to the open and less crowded pool area as one of our friends went to get us drinks. I tried very hard not to make any eye contact with anyone. I was trying hard not to let anyone know how awkward I felt.  This was my first experience in a gay nightclub (and I don't think our hosts who brought us there knew that).

Our drinks came and I nervously drank about half of mine as quick as I could. It was starting to set in. I was in my first Gay nightclub and my wife and I were most likely the only heterosexuals there.

As the time passed we took a few fun semi-drunken selfie photos by the pool and began to head over into the actual dance club part which was getting more crowded as the night went on (as any club would). That "awkward stage" I was going through was in full effect and a feeling of anger and betrayal began to take over my emotions - but I dare not show it.

Why was I feeling betrayed? Where was this anger coming from? I wasn't having that bad a time and it wasn't THAT weird; just, in fact, like any other club I've ever been to (in my hay day).

But why didn't our friends say something before we were brought there? Why didn't they make sure I would be comfortable in such an atmosphere first? All they had to do was ask, right? It wasn't until we were there almost an hour at the club and my slightly tipsy and adorable wife was begging me to dance on the dance floor with her, that one of our friends leaned over to me and pointed out some of the heterosexual couples there, explaining that the club has such a good reputation that it's usually filled with at least one quarter heterosexual folks.Wow. Was that supposed to make me feel more comfortable now? An hour later?

Why did he wait so long to try and make me feel comfortable? (It was at this point that I wondered if my feelings were showing on my face.) Was it my almost unwillingness to dance with my slightly inebriated wife that made it more obvious? Or was it simply their sweet and caring nature of always making us feel comfortable whenever we go to visit the Jersey Shore that was simply shining through at the moment?

Whatever the reason I was feeling angrier by the minute...and then, I had a moment; an epiphany of sorts.

Everything seemed to slow down into almost slow motion at the club. I suddenly realized I was in a Gay night club so much like the one in Orlando only weeks after the mass shooting there. I had avoided (at all cost) making eye contact with anyone there at the club all night and suddenly found myself looking up and looking around. I became brave. What I discovered when I looked around were people, just like me, of maybe a different sexual orientation than mine though, all having a blast; dancing to the DJ like it was 1999. Two women, two guys, dancing together, what's the difference? I thought. Everyone was having SUCH a good time. I began to become overcome with emotion as I knew this was exactly what happened in the moments before a deranged shooter took the lives of so many innocent party goers that tragic night. This what they were experiencing in those minutes before those horrific moments. Perhaps by fate, or on purpose, my sometimes homophobic tough-guy self from Brooklyn was there experiencing this for a REASON. I was experiencing the good part of that fateful night as all those innocent people did while at the same time (forcibly perhaps) coming to grips with my own homophobia in a way that combined sadness, empathy and anger totally unscripted or planned. Maybe that's the best kind of therapy. We say we all eat, all take a crap, all dance to the same beat and now I understand it even more because of this experience. Life is a constant learning opportunity filled with new opportunities perhaps predestined for our journey (or put there by God). 

We are all capable of learning and growing especially when it comes to tolerance and respect for race, gender and sexuality. I guess it takes moments like these to help us learn and grow. 

The Kenny G argument - important musician or exploiter

Back in the early 90s while I was making good money playing weddings in a wedding band as a sax player and playing Kenny G songs for couples' first dance I heard this argument come up time and time again. I decided to look Kenny G up; find out who he really was and what his experience as a musician was and discovered he had paid his dues as a musician in jazz and funk bands for many years before becoming famous. Wondering how bad Kenny G might be as everyone said he was and the fact that I was smitten with a young woman at work I decided to ask her out on a date to see Kenny G play live at Radio City Music Hall. I figured this would satisfy on both fronts. Nothing went further with the young woman than the concert as I hoped but I was left with a deep appreciation for Kenny G's musicianship and showmanship as an entertainer (specifically when he surprised everyone by walking down the aisles and playing from the back of the auditorium all the way to the stage playing up and down scales using his 'circular breathing' technique while appearing not to take a breath the entire time. Very exciting I must say and of course the audience went wild.) I would honestly have to put that concert in the top 5 I've ever seen, the 1st being my first jazz concert that my Mom took me to at Town Hall featuring two of my saxophone heroes, Sonny Rollins and Grover Washington Jr. playing together on the same stage. Both Grover and Kenny G took the experiences they absorbed playing in authentic jazz and funk bands and created something much more commercial that the average listener could relate to. Could they both run rings around a Coltrane inspired solo? I bet you they could. But laughing all the way to the bank, why should they? Covering a Louis Armstrong song the way Kenny G did as Pat Matheny so adamantly mentions and abhors is one thing, especially if it were a song from Louis' Hot Five days but he instead covers a Pop song that has been featured in movies that is very familiar to the masses and not just jazz fans. Therefore I think Matheny's argument is wasted. What is popular music? What is "good" music? How much do you really know about jazz and its history? Do purists sometimes get jealous of the money those who "cross over" make while getting out in the same genre as they play and create? How much did record labels dictate the genres Kenny G's music fell into? Does Kenny G deserve respect for where he came from and how he brought the instrument back into the mainstream as a solo instrument? Like Grover and countless well-respected jazz artists (Miles included) when they "crossed over" for a more Pop appeal, Kenny G combined pure, fun, entertainment with techniques he mastered through his life experiences on the road playing much more complicated styles of music and chose to make the most out of keeping it simpler with scales like the "pentatonic scale"; a 5 note scale void of any harsh tones making it very pleasing to anyone's ear (equipping it with enough chromatic passing tones and blue notes to make it difficult for the average listener to resist). We are as a society quick to judge but rarely truly look at a man for all he has accomplished and where he came from? 

Written 25m ago